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Are You Moving Closer to or Further from What You Want?
By Susie and Otto Collins
It's an absolute fact that we ALL talk to ourselves.
The important question is-- What do we say when we talk to ourselves?
Think about the times when you talk to yourself...
What do you say to yourself? 
Does it help you or hurt you?
Does it move you closer to or further from what you say you want in your relationships and life?
These are certainly questions worth considering and ones that can help shift you from disempowerment to empowerment in a matter of moments if you are open to the answers that come back after asking questions like these.
After one of our recent workshops on creating greater intimacy in relationships, we overheard a woman say something that brought up a very important idea that we wanted to share with you.
The essence of what we overheard this woman saying was that she could never have the kind of relationship that we had just described in our talk.
In our presentation, we had shared ways to open deeper to others.
We gave some communication and trust-building skills and we talked about what was possible when it came to deeper intimacy in and out of the bedroom.
What was interesting about this woman's comment was that she, herself, was not open to something better for her own life.
She had already made a judgment that it was great that the two of us have been able to create a beautiful, loving, close, connected, passionate and alive relationship but it was impossible or "out of reach" for her and her life.
Even though we've talked about this idea, it's worth repeating.
If you want something different or better for your life, you've got to begin doing different things, in different ways in order to have that.
It's hard to say for sure, but it appears that this woman was unable or unwilling to see beyond her present situation and her present thoughts, attitudes, fears, beliefs and actions that are creating her current reality.
She was unwilling to make one small shift to improve her life and her relationships. She wanted to continue doing what she had been doing instead of looking toward something better.
We all get to choose how we want to live our lives and we're certainly not judging this woman's decision.
Like this woman, for many people it's easier to make an unconscious decision about their lives and say, "I'll never be able to have that" than to take a step toward what they want.
So, to create what you want, does it just take thinking good thoughts?
Recently, Otto watched an interview with James Arthur Ray that was really interesting.  As you may recall, James is one of the presenters in the movie "The Secret."
In this interview, he was asked if thinking good thoughts was all it took to be able to create or manifest all that you want for your life.  He said that he believes that to be able to create anything that you want, you have to get your thoughts, beliefs and actions lined up toward creating exactly what it is that you want.
We think James is right because this has been our experience in our own lives and in creating our relationship.
If you are wanting to move closer to what you want in any part of your life, here are some suggestions that have helped us...
1. Take something that you want in your life. Look at your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about having it. When Susie looked at moving from her home of over 30 years, she saw that the thought and belief of "I can't have what I want in our new location"
was present for her.
2. If the thought or belief is contrary to what you want to move toward, challenge it every time it comes up in your mind by asking this question--"Is this true?"
3. Each time you think this thought or belief, change it to one that is a better thought and one that you can believe. Susie can believe that it is possible to have what she wants because she has seen areas at the new location that have what she wants.
4. As Otto's father has always said-- sometimes you have to "Put legs on your prayers." To us, this means take one action step toward what you want and then take another.
Right now and for the past few weeks, we have been periodically taking trips to the  new area where we are moving soon and looking at houses.
We are sorting out what we want and don't  want in these searches. In other words, we  are lining up our energy, as James Arthur Ray says, to create what we want.
You can do this in any part of your life, especially to improve your relationships.
When it comes to your relationships, what thoughts or beliefs do you have?
Are these thoughts and beliefs taking you toward what it is that you want in your relationships and life or are they moving you further from it?
Are the actions you are taking moving you closer to or further from what it is that you want?
The choice is always yours.

Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins, authors of "Red Hot Love Relationships," invite you to visit
to learn how you can bring more passion into your relationship.

Red Hot Love Relationships 

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Contact Info
Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins, PO Box 14544, Columbus, OH 43214
Contact Susie or Otto about Relationship Coaching by calling (614) 568-8282.
For all other inquiries, contact us by email.

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