Are You Moving
Closer to or Further from What You Want?
By Susie and Otto Collins
It's an absolute fact
that we ALL talk to ourselves.
The important question
is-- What do we say when we talk to
Think about the times
when you talk to yourself...
What do you say to
Does it help you or
Does it move you closer
to or further from what you say you want in
your relationships and life?
These are certainly
questions worth considering and ones that
can help shift you from disempowerment to
empowerment in a matter of moments if you
are open to the answers that come back after
asking questions like these.
After one of our recent
workshops on creating greater intimacy in
relationships, we overheard a woman say
something that brought up a very important
idea that we wanted to share with you.
The essence of what we
overheard this woman saying was that she
could never have the kind of relationship
that we had just described in our talk.
In our presentation, we
had shared ways to open deeper to others.
We gave some
communication and trust-building skills and
we talked about what was possible when it
came to deeper intimacy in and out of the
What was interesting
about this woman's comment was that she,
herself, was not open to something better
for her own life.
She had already made a
judgment that it was great that the two of
us have been able to create a beautiful,
loving, close, connected, passionate and
alive relationship but it was impossible or
"out of reach" for her and her life.
Even though we've
talked about this idea, it's worth
If you want something
different or better for your life, you've
got to begin doing different things, in
different ways in order to have that.
It's hard to say for
sure, but it appears that this woman was
unable or unwilling to see beyond her
present situation and her present thoughts,
attitudes, fears, beliefs and actions that
are creating her current reality.
She was unwilling to
make one small shift to improve her life and
her relationships. She wanted to continue
doing what she had been doing instead of
looking toward something better.
We all get to choose
how we want to live our lives and we're
certainly not judging this woman's decision.
Like this woman, for
many people it's easier to make an
unconscious decision about their lives and
say, "I'll never be able to have that" than
to take a step toward what they want.
So, to create what you
want, does it just take thinking good
Recently, Otto watched
an interview with James Arthur Ray that was
really interesting. As you may recall,
James is one of the presenters in the movie
In this interview, he
was asked if thinking good thoughts was all
it took to be able to create or manifest all
that you want for your life. He said that
he believes that to be able to create
anything that you want, you have to get your
thoughts, beliefs and actions lined up
toward creating exactly what it is that you
We think James is right
because this has been our experience in our
own lives and in creating our relationship.
If you are wanting to
move closer to what you want in any part of
your life, here are some suggestions that
have helped us...
1. Take something that
you want in your life. Look at your
thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about having
it. When Susie looked at moving from her
home of over 30 years, she saw that the
thought and belief of "I can't have what I
want in our new location"
was present for her.
2. If the thought or
belief is contrary to what you want to move
toward, challenge it every time it comes up
in your mind by asking this question--"Is
3. Each time you think
this thought or belief, change it to one
that is a better thought and one that you
can believe. Susie can believe that it is
possible to have what she wants because she
has seen areas at the new location that have
what she wants.
4. As Otto's father has
always said-- sometimes you have to
"Put legs on your prayers." To us, this
means take one action step toward what you
want and then take another.
Right now and for the
past few weeks, we have been periodically
taking trips to the new area where we are
moving soon and looking at houses.
We are sorting out what
we want and don't want in these searches.
In other words, we are lining up our
energy, as James Arthur Ray says, to create
what we want.
You can do this in any
part of your life, especially to improve
When it comes to your
relationships, what thoughts or beliefs do
Are these thoughts and
beliefs taking you toward what it is that
you want in your relationships and life
or are they moving you further from it?
Are the actions you are
taking moving you closer to or further
from what it is that you want?
The choice is always