"Keeping the Fire Lit and Love Alive in Your Marriage"

by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches
 

Once you fall in love and find that special someone, you live happily, blissfully ever after. Right? Even though when you commit to one another that’s usually the intention, after a few years or even months, the "fire" sometimes dwindles and may even go out completely.

 While some may think it’s “normal” for the love story to die, we don’t. This is why...

It is a choice to have the kind of relationship that you want—regardless of how long you've been together. In our relationship, we make conscious decisions every day that keep our heart connection strong. Sometimes these decisions involve taking the time to talk and to listen to one another, other times we choose to let less important things take a back seat. It also often means turning off the television or the computer and taking a walk together. Really focus on each other. Of course it varies. You and your partner must decide what will relight and keep the “fire” burning for your relationship. Be sure to make whatever you decide to do a regular practice for connecting.

 If you want to keep love alive in your relationship, try a few of these ideas...

1. What do you truly want?  Think and talk about what it means to each of you to keep the fire lit in your relationship. Share you’re your partner in a way that is not defensive or blaming. Honestly talk about what really excites you and then listen.

2. What is the positive outcome you are wanting?  If possible, get on the same page, and develop a vision for how you would like your connection to be. Hold a clear image of that vision. By holding that relationship vision, you will have the energy to move toward what you want for your life.

3. Don’t you want to have fun while getting closer? Remember to allow this to be a fun experience, not something that you "have” to do. Make sure you are really feeling good when choosing activities to enhance your closeness and connection. When the rewards of love outweigh the allure of “vegging” out, tiredness falls away and exhilaration takes its place..

Through observation and experience, we’ve learned that you can make one of two choices: You can allow people or situations to dictate the course of your life, or you can be a conscious creator of your life. The choice is yours. In every moment starting today, we invite you to make conscious choices that will keep the fire lit within you for your relationship and your own life.