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"How your Emotions can be
like a Jack-in-the-Box..."
By Susie and Otto Collins
It's been our observation that most of us will do
almost anything to avoid feeling negative emotions.
Resisting or hiding from unwanted feelings never
pushes them away. They just get stuffed down and as
Steven Covey says, "come up later in uglier ways."
This isn't the purpose of emotions--to be stuffed
down, pushed away and never to be dealt with.
The purpose of emotions is to serve as a barometer
for whether your life is flowing and in balance or
not.
Karla McLaren in her tape series "Emotional Genius"
said that emotions signal imbalance. They help you
move to understanding and then to resolution of a
situation or problem. She went on to say that they
can also be clear signals from your inner wisdom
that you have lost your way.
What we are saying is-- don't be afraid of your (or
anyone's) emotions. The exception of course being if
you feel you are in physical danger.
If you want close, connected relationships, you have
to be willing to deal consciously with both your and
your partner's emotions. You can't sweep your
thoughts, emotions and desires under a rug and not
deal with them and then hope that everything will
turn out just fine. It just isn't possible.
Remember the Jack-in-the box you had when you
were a kid? You'd wind the crank over and over while
the silly song played and you didn't know when Jack
would burst out of the box right in your face.
When you stuff your emotions down or push them away,
they act just like your old Jack-in-the-box. You
know they're going to blow up in your face, but you
just don't know when.
We've discovered the best way to keep emotions from
blowing up in your face is to first be aware of what
you are feeling and then deal with them as they come
up--with grace.
When anger, for example, arises in either one of us,
we have an agreement that we will get to the bottom
of it as soon as possible. An important key is that
we both listen and speak about the issue with open
hearts.
We made that agreement when we came together and it
has helped us heal our relationship when tough
issues and challenges come up.
If you want an outstanding marriage, we recommend
that you make this same agreement with your spouse.
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Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins,
authors of "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" and
"No More Jealousy" are experts at helping people get
more of the love they really want. Learn the 5 keys
to a closer, more loving relationship, click below
for your free 5-part mini-course:
http://www.RelationshipGold.com. |