Is Your Marriage
Skinny or Fat?
By Susie and Otto Collins
For Susie's birthday, Otto gave her a card which
said, "Their love was big and fat because they fed
it a lot between meals." This was such a great
metaphor for relationships that are passionate,
alive and growing that we decided that it was great
advice for married couples.
We feel that to have a great marriage, you have to
feed it a lot. Most people usually do a great job
of feeding their marriages in the beginning stages
but then slack off as the marriage matures.
Most couples feed their marriage until one or the
other adopts the attitude that they will be together
forever and that they can now stop putting effort
into their relationship.
Most people have no problem "feeding" their
relationship with a mate before having sex or before
an anniversary or maybe during a vacation to the
beach. But they neglect to "feed" their marriage
"between meals" which we feel is even more important
for creating a powerful connection between two
We're constantly asked by people how to keep boredom
or monotony out of their marriages and we feel that
the best answer we can give is to "feed" it
constantly and never stop growing spiritually and
In Harvey Mackay's book on networking, "Dig your
well before you're thirsty," he makes the point that
having a network of contacts in life isn't enough.
You have to constantly feed and nurture these
relationships or they'll be just names in a rolodex
file and nothing more. This is true in the business
world as well as your personal relationships.
So we'd like to offer you a few ways to "feed" your
marriage " between meals." We'd suggest that you
think of even more ways that foster a connected
relationship of the heart.
1. Believe that you are not guaranteed another
moment with your mate, your child, your friends.
Treat them with kindness and love every step of the
way. As Jewel sings in her song "Hands"--"Only
kindness matters in the end."
2. Keep in contact with one another. Susie was out
of town visiting relatives for a few days this week
and to stay in touch, she called Otto each day and
they talked about the important events of the day.
As a result, even though we were apart, we stayed
closely connected to each other.
3. Give the people in your life your undivided
attention when they are communicating with you or
let them know when you can give them this
attention. Many times we shortchange the people we
love--especially with our time and attention because
of so many demands. Make them a priority.
If your relationships are important to you, you have
to treat them that way. As Stephen Covey suggested
in his book, "First Things First"--the things that
matter most should never be at the mercy of the
things that matter least.
Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins,
authors of "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" and
"No More Jealousy" are experts at helping people get
more of the love they really want. Learn the 5 keys
to a closer, more loving relationship, click below
for your free 5-part mini-course: